I'm Being Almost Completely Sirius
by wellhelloitsme
Summary: The Marauders in their Hogwarts years, and little afterwards. What could go wrong? T because I'm amazingly paranoid. Werewolves. Little kids don't like em' these days, ya know?
1. No, Really, I'm Sirius

**A/N: And the award for crappiest title ever goes to...yeah, I know. Sorry. :P This is my first HP fanfic so hopefully it goes well/ no one is fatally injured in the making of it. Please please PLEASE. Tear. This. Story. Apart. Do not spare my feelings. If I make a spelling mistake, shout at me. If I make a character mistake, kick me virtually. -insert headdesk- **

**I want it to be good. The rest of the chapters will be much longer. **

**KateTheFanFictionist does not own the Harry Potters. If she did, Tonks and Remus would've lived.**

**P.S. KateTheFanFictionist is not responsible for headaches from headdesks, unfortunate cases of Bat-Bogie curses that I may or may not of told Ginny to place on you, and/or any harm that has came from the Marauder's pranks.**

**P.S...again. Yes, I know. Tonks isn't a student at Hogwarts until the Marauders are gone. But I wanted her there, so lo and behold, Miss. Nymphie Tonks. :) Not that she's in this chapter, though.**

**P.S...last time, I swear. I don't know if Lily had glasses, but I pictured her to in her first/maybe second year. So she'll have glasses for now, and get contacts later on, probably.**

**And now, the Marauders present;**

**I'm Being Almost Completely Sirius**

**No, Really, I'm Sirius**

A young boy at twelve rolled his eyes as his mother said her 'goodbyes.'

"Sirius Black, if you do not get sorted into Slytherin you will be a disgrace. And don't have me seeing any detention notices. Filfthy blood traitor."

She walks off muttering an imitation of Sirius saying that muggles aren't so bad, which he said when they went to Diagon Alley and the young wizard took a wrong turn. He's been raised on the fact that muggles and mudbloods are just about the worst thing imaginable, blood traitors no better.

Well, now he knew what his first job at Hogwarts was. Get out of Slytherin and into detention. Not that he planned on anything else. Slytherin's where all the purebloods and mini Death Eaters are. And he's a pureblood, sure, but not a Death Eater. No, Gryffindor's where he was sure he belonged.

Besides, his mother firmly believes that he's a disgrace and doesn't deserve the pureblood he has. He sighs and walks onto the train. Immediately, he hears shouting. Probably an older student being scolded, he thought. But he decided to look anyways.

In the next cart, a professor with black, frizzed hair is scolding a boy who looks no older than twelve, defintite first year. He has jet black hair that didn't fall right, or at all as Sirius thought, it just stuck up in the back, and hazel eyes that were full of mischief and behind thin rimmed circular glasses.

"Potter, don't make me expell you before we get there. Does mischief run in your family? Your mother was the same."

"You knew my mum? Blimey, you really are..." he trailed off at the glare he was receiving. He was going to say old, of course, but now he was most definetely not.

"_Ahem. _Yes, I knew your mother. Amusing woman, I was never bored. Get back to your carriage, Potter. I expect to see you with the lions this year," she says, softening at the mention of his mother, best in her year. At causing trouble, that is. He nods quickly and hurries to his carriage.

Sirius follows him.

"Hey," he states. "Heard you got in trouble back there. Managed to cross Minnie before we get to the school?"

"Eh, got out of it well enough. And don't let her catch you calling her that, blimey, I think she'd have your head if she heard that one," the young Potter replied back, easily making conversation.

"Mind if I join you? All the other carriages are, er, full."

"Right. Sneaking suspicion that you're just too lazy to look, mate."

"Oy, nice guess."

"Yeah. I've got a knack for it. But sure. Come on in."

"I'm Sirius by the way."

"Nice to know, mate. I'm usually pretty happy, but I can be serious too."

"No my name is Sirius."

"That too? Why what is it?"

"You are an idiot. My _name_ is Sirius Black."

"Is it really? Strange name. Wait, did you say Black?"

"Yep."

_Here it goes again._

"As in, Voldemort's..."

"Followers? Servants? Mindless pets? Yeah, that's us."

"You don't sound too thrilled with the aspect."

"Not. Mum's a witch. Father, a Death Eater. And worst of all, purebloods."

"Well, I got as far to realize your Mum's a witch, mate. But you and I are purebloods, aren't we?"

"Do you hate mudbloods?"

"No, and that's a nasty way of putting it," a redhead called from the doorway. "I happen to be a _mudblood_." Was there something wrong with how he put it? Then it hit him. His parents call people like her mudbloods. So, yes, undoubtably bad. Sirius looked ashamed for a moment and opened his mouth to apologize but then closed it, wondering what the girl was even doing here.

He looked to James as if to say _who is she? _but he seems to be caught in some trance.

"Right," James agreed. "I'm James Potter."

"Lily Evans," the girl said, confused, and held out her hand politely. But just as he was about to shake the hand, a boy with greasy hair and cold black eyes walked over.

"Lily, these people are idiots. Let's go."

"Hush, Severus, they can't be too bad."

"Lily, these are those purebloods. They called you a mudblood," he said in a drawling voice that matched those of Sirius' relatives. Sirius cocked an eyebrow. Obviously he had been a topic of conversation. James had snapped out of his trance and glared at Snape. Lily, to their surprise jumped to their defence.

"The world isn't divided into good people and Death Eaters, Sev."

"Yeah, Lil, but these are the gits that are from _those _families. Either a joke or a Death Eater, really." James jumped up, no doubt to defend his folks. Sirius, strangely, stayed in his seat.

"Gits, are we? What was your name again? You look like a snivelling coward to me. Was that it? Snivelly?" Sirius sneered, now jumping up and to James' defense. Git was a word often used to describe Sirius after seeing his family tree, but James didn't deserve it, nor did his folks.

Lily had red tinging her delicate features and her bright green eyes turned hard behind her thick black rimmed glasses.

"Both of you stop it," she said, taking Severus' arm and pulling him away. But not before sending a glare at the two boys.

They sat in silence for a moment before James spoke up.

"Think she'd be a good snog?"

"The trolley lady? Not sure, tad old for you, mate."

And it was true, the trolley lady had rolled up with her cart and was smirking.

"Well, boys, you'd have to take me to dinner first."

Sirius burst out laughing as James turned beet red, stuttering out an explanation. She waved it off and just asked, "Something off the trolley, hun?"

Before James could respond, Sirius had grabbed and paid for several boxes of jellybeans and a few chocolate frogs.

James examined the jellybeans before taking a small bite of a red one.

In a moment he was jumping up and down screaming that it was really _really _hot.

"Well, I got strawberry. Rotten luck, you have," Sirius teased. He pulled out another one that was a funny green color and threw it to James, who easily caught it.

"Eugh! Boogie!"

"Blimey, I'd just quit the jellybeans if I were you. Have a chocolate frog."

James nods eagerly and eats a frog. He examines the card.

"Oy! Slytherin!" And it's true. Salazer Slytherin was grinning on the card.

"It's a sign," teases Sirius, with a completely fake knowing smile. Not a chance this kid would be anywhere but Gryffindor. James looked down at the card to find that Slytherin had disappeared.

"Thank god," James says, ignoring Sirius.

"What house are you hoping for?" James asked after a moment.

"Gryffindor," Sirius answered.

"You want Gryffindor?"

"Yes, what's wrong with that?"

"Nothing, nothing. I'd like it too. Just your whole family-"

"I told you. I'm not, or atleast I don't think I am, anything like them."

"Wait, what do you mean, don't think? Is that doubt I hear? Doubt from the almighty Sirius Black?" James feigned shock.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Even the greatest doubt sometimes, my nieve subject. Anyways, if I'm already calling people-"

"Wait, you don't mean the mudblood incident. Mate, it's cruel to refer to them as that, but it's not like you knew any better. Besides, you didn't even call her that."

"Yeah, I guess. What's a better term for it?"

James shrugs. "I usually just call them muggleborns. But you don't even really have to classify."

"You don't?"

"Nope."

"Oh."

There was silence for a moment. Not uncomfortable or awkward, just thinking it over.

"Hey, Sirius?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't think you'll be in Slytherin."

Sirius' face brightened considerably. "Thanks. So, Evans, huh?"

James blushes. "She's different..."

"What's different? She hates you?"

"Yeah. That shouldn't be a problem. Who could resist?"

"Not me," Sirius teased. James threw a jellybean at him and he ate it. "Mm...bubblegum. Really, mate, _I _have the best luck with these." James shot him a scowl to which he just smirked.

Prefects then came shouting down the hall.

"Change into your cloaks! We will be there in five minutes, five minutes!"

James changed right away, but Sirius stared at his disdainfully. There was a green and silver collar, and a Slytherin patch on it.

James looked over beginning to ask what's going on when he saw the robes.

He didn't find it to be a problem at all. He just pulled out his wand and pointed it at the cloak. He mumbled a spell and the colors changed to red and gold, with a Gryffindor patch.

"That should do it," James stated as Sirius pulled it on.

"Thanks mate."

"Sure."

They finish getting dressed and get off the train, talking about the houses. They were so consumed in their conversation, they collided with a young boy with light brown hair and glasses.

"Blimey, sorry," Sirius said, not giving the boy much that but James stayed and stared for a moment.

"Er, I'm James. James Potter."

"Remus. Remus Lupin, that is," Remus replied sadly, much aware of the reason for James' stares.

Sirius sighed. "Sorry, Remus. James here is a tad off his rocker, if you know what I mean," he said, carefully hoping to avoid the topic of the long scars on Remus' face.

Remus nods, uncertainly, as if he believed him. Sirius burst out laughing and James turned red as he slapped Sirius' arm.

"Shut it! I'm not mad!"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Sure."

"Right..."

The two boys turn to Remus who gives a small chuckle. "Just saying I think you're both completely bonkers."

Sirius elbowed James. "Told you so."

"Mate, he said both of us."

"Blimey, did he?"

"Yeah. And about time someone realized it." He clapped his hand onto Remus' back. "Nice job, mate."

"FIRST YEARS! Ova' here n' pick er' boat. Four each."

They all sat in the nearest boat and saw a rat-faced kid stepping into it.

"S-s-sorry. M-mind if I join you?"

"Nah, it's fine. I'm James."

"Sirius," Sirius added.

"Remus," Remus concluded, and the trio grinned at eachother.

"P-p-peter Pettigrew," the boy said tremulously.

"Right. Well, boys, this is the beginning of a great year," James said proudly, standing up in the boat and toppling off the side.

The boys helped him as they fought back laughter. They pulled him back onto the boat and Sirius gave a bark of laughter.

"It most certainly is," he concluded. "Chocolate frogs, anyone?"


	2. Don't Call Me Nymphie, Black

**I'm excited that the people who have read enjoyed it!**

**P.S. I might of added some people who aren't in their Hogwart's years...ex. Tonks or Bellatrix. It's not a mistake, I decided to have them there. :) I love Tonks and Bellatrix. **

**The Marauders present:**

**Don't call me Nymphie, Black**

"I'll take one," Remus said, accepting a frog from Sirius.

Peter scrunched up his nose in disgust. "You like chocolate?"

Remus looked at him in shock. "Food. Of. God."

Sirius laughed as he directed a hot-air charm at James. "Yes, I now pronounce you chocolate and Remus. Figure the wife and husband titles out for yourself, though, would you?"

"Where'd you learn that charm?" Peter asked.

"It's natural. Ask anyone, I've always been charming," he replied arrogantly.

Remus laughed. "A.K.A, he read it in a book."

"That too," Sirius agreed.

"Blimey, you must've been desperate," James teased.

"Hey," Sirius warned, "Anything to get away from my family."

"Are any of them here?" Peter asked.

"You're an inquisitive thing, you know that? Anyways, Bellatrix is here, in her first year. Narcissa, her second. They're sisters, my cousins, both nightmares."

"Sound charming," James said sarcastically.

"Obviously. You know anyone, James?"

"Not unless it's a long lost cousin or something, but that'd be pretty sweet."

"Same," Remus agreed.

"First years, look ahead to see yer new home, Hogwarts," Hagrid called.

A castle was not far ahead.

"Wow..." James said, eyes lit with wonder.

"Is that Hogwarts?" Peter asked in awe.

"Yeah..." Remus answered softly, gaze not leaving the mystical building.

"It's like, a castle..." Sirius said without thinking.

James smirked. "It _is_ a castle, Black."

"Shut up," Sirius muttered.

The boats docked and the boys got off. Hagrid led them all to a room, just outside what Remus said to be the dining hall.

"Remmy," James inquired, "I thought you were muggleborn. Where'd you learn that?"

"Actually, I'm half-blood. Dad's a wizard, Mum's a half-blood," Remus corrected, unoffended. "And Hogwarts, A History. Really fantastic book. Did'ya know that there are six thousand five hundred and fifty seven paintings hung on the wall?"

"You memorized that?" Peter asked.

"None of us have read Hogwarts, A History. He could of bloody well made it up, and none of us would know the difference," Sirius pointed out.

Remus rolled his eyes. "Please," he countered. "Knowing you, you now know what you are doing over Christmas."

Sirius and James looked to eachother for a second. "Blimey, that's a good point," James said.

A girl talking to an interested Lily caught James' attention. She screwed up her face in concentration and turned her hair purple.

"W-woah! That girl just changed her bloody hair color," he said to the others.

Sirius looked up. "I know her," he exclaimed. "Oy, Nymphie! Over here!"

The girl looked up with a glare crossing her features, but excused herself and walked over.

"Don't call me Nymphie, Black," she said dangerously. "It's Tonks."

Sirius smiled. "But it's amusing to see your reactions! How are you?"

"I'm alright. Mum's a wreck. Going through a wish her sisters would call, how she wants them to be friends phase."

"Sorry about that. Tried to talk to Narcissa, Bellatrix even, but I'm a filthy blood-traitor in their tiny pea-sized minds, so that didn't do much good."

"It's alright. Blood-traitor? I knew there was hope for you!"

"Tonks, this is James, Peter, and Remmy."

"Remus," Remus corrected.

"He's bloody terrible with nicknames. Hear what he called me? Nymphie! The name's Nymphadora Tonks. Fool of a mother thought Nymphadora was pretty. I think it's a bloody nightmare. Call me Tonks," Tonks explained and turned to the others. "Wotcher."

"Wot-what?" James asked.

"Wotcher. My way of asking what's up."

"Oh," Remus said. "What was that...back there?"

"Oh, with the hair? I'm a metamorphmagus."

"Metamorphma-huh?" Peter asked, stumbling over the word.

"I'm able to change my appearance at will," she explained happily, "Let me demonstrate," she offered, turning her nose into a pig snout and her hair bright pink.

"Wicked," James said.

"Definetely," Peter agreed as Tonks turned her nose back to normal.

"I like pink hair best," she said.

"Right," Sirius agreed, remembering the very few times that he had seen Tonks before, her hair always a source of entertainment and a rainbow of colors.

"So how do you know eachother?"

"Related," Tonks says with a smile. "Cousins."

"Once removed," Sirius added. "Did I mention my mum's a witch?"

"Why were you removed?" James asked.

Sirius shifted uncomfortably, watching Tonks' reaction. She smiled smugly.

"We're too good for the Blacks."

Sirius nodded, relieved and laughing. "Humanity scares us."

The other three boys exchanged glances, confused. Tonks decided to explain further.

"My mum is Bellatrix and Narcissa's older sister. She married my dad. A muggleborn."

"My mum says that 'marrying lesser is not becoming'," he finished sarcastically, with an imitation of the witch's voice.

"Oh yes, positively wretched," Tonks said with a laugh.

"Her part of the family's the best on the tree," Sirius said, gesturing to Tonks.

"Or off it," she corrected.

"Off the dear tree and her rocker, the traitor," an annoyed voice rang out. Sirius groaned as a girl with wild black hair, pale skin and dark eyes.

"Bellatrix, lovely to see you," Sirius drawled sarcastically, with a light roll of his eyes.

"Dear cousin!" Bellatrix replied. She added a smirk,"The pleasure's mine. Heard you've been quite the mammy's boy, lately."

Sirius smirked. _Right. _"I'll play mummy's boy when she gets over herself."

Bellatrix shook her head. "You'll get yourself kicked off the tree with that attitude, Black. Look what happened to Nymphadora over here. Following in old mummy's footsteps are you, Tonkie?" she sneered.

Tonks rolled her eyes, clearly not offended as Bellatrix may have thought. "Shouldn't you be off the Death Eater boot camp, now, Bellatrix? Wouldn't want to keep Voldemort waiting."

"You dare speak the Dark Lord's name?" Bellatrix gasped, frightened and astounded. It had always been a thing with Bellatrix. Few people could speak his name without upsetting -frightening- her. Sirius saw the other boys shift uncomfortably in the corner of his eye.

"Yes, Bellatrix. I do dare," Tonks said, frustrated.

"Really. Simply charmed to see you Bellatrix, however, I must go," Sirius said tiredly, pushing past her. The other boys followed him. "See you later, Nymphie," they chorused. Sirius looked to Bellatrix and finished, "In Gryffindor!"

"My. Name's. Tonks," she said, trying to be intimidating, but she smiled so it wasn't entirely convincing. Not to mention, the bright pink hair didn't exactly help her to come off as someone you don't want to mess with. After a glance at Bellatrix, she added, "Anywhere but Slytherin! I think I'd leave, don't you?"

Sirius smiled as Bellatrix shot deathly glares at the two, "Definetely."

He then caught up with the other boys, at the right time too, because McGonagall had entered.

"Hello everyone. I look forward to knowing all of you. Some of you I've already met."-pause to look to James-"And I hope to see you all in Gryffindor, among my lions."-a cheer roared from a table in the room behind her-"You will go and try on the Sorting Hat- on that stool up there. It will place you in the house you are meant to be in. You will then sit at that table and wait for the ceremony to end."

They followed her to sit at a table and wait for their turn.

"Did you know that? About the hat?" Remus asked the two purebloods, who both nodded.

"Thought you knew, Remmy," Sirius replied.

"I thought you did too, mate, sorry," James apologized.

"Oh...just a hat...," Peter mumbled, obviously relieved. This pureblood hadn't had the slightest idea.

Sirius had gone quite pale himself. Thoughts of Slytherin, ending up like his family, a ruthless Death Eater, filled his head and he noticed he was trembling.

_SMACK._

James had whacked his arm.

"Ow, what was that for?" Sirius said, rubbing his arm resentfully.

James shrugged. "Thought we were losing you there. Look, Sirius, you won't be a Slytherin. Any Slytherin wouldn't be having those thoughts," he said, easily reading him.

Slytherin. No better than the rest of his family.

"Don't make me whack you again," James warned, seeing Sirius' eyes get a far-off gleam.

They looked up. The hat had just opened it's mouth to sing.

"Cover your ears," James directed the others. "Not too good at singing, not easy on the ears."

And so they covered their ears before deeming it safe.

"-begin calling names. Avery, Joan."

A girl came up and pulled on the hat.

"RAVENCLAW!"

It followed this pattern, some students following suite and being made 'RAVENCLAW'. Others, 'GRYFFINDOR', 'HUFFLEPUFF', or -much to the young boys' disgust- 'SLYTHERIN'.

There were many names before even Sirius. Bellatrix was placed into Slytherin before she even picked up the hat.

"Ugh. SLYTHERIN!"

McGonagall watched her go, looking almost satisfied, before calling up, "Black, Sirius."

There were many groans from the tables, besides Slytherin, obviously aware of his family's beliefs. Dumbledore merely leaned forward in interest, as did the other teachers. They had seen many in his family, however just by the way he carried himself, you could tell that he didn't necessarily agree with his family's prejudice and he was not to be judged early. Sirius tried to ignore them, walking up to the hat.

He sat on the stool and put on the hat. It might of gone over his eyes, if it weren't for his hair.

_Well, you're an easy one._

Sirius nearly jumped at hearing the hat talk, then he processed what it was saying.

_Wait no, hear me out._

_Hm?_

_I'm not like my folks. I don't believe in any of that prejudice pureblood crap and I'm not a mini-Death Eater._

_Well, I see that now. It's all right here You are loyal, but Hufflepuff doesn't sound right for you. You certainly aren't bright-_

_Hey!_

_Only joking. Sort of. Ravenclaw's out, along with Hufflepuff._

"SLY-"

_What? NO! _

_Just kidding. Hmph. You're extremely brave... maybe if McGonagall and Nearly Headless Nick put their heads together they can deal with you. _

_Haha,_ Sirius thought dryly.

_It's settled. Only one place for you._

"GRYFFINDOR!"

Sirius breathed a sigh of relief as shocked gasps ran across the room, disgusted scoffs arising from the Slytherins. They gained composure and clapped wildly as Sirius handed McGonagall the hat.

"Thanks, Minnie!"

"Detention, Black. It's Professor McGonagall to you."

"It's Sirius to you. Black's my mum."

McGonagall sighed. "Just sit _down_."

_This year will be amusing, no doubt_, she thought to herself.

Sirius grinned and went to the Gryffindor table. The other boys smiled at him.

Later, "Evans, Lily" was called and she was made a Gryffindor, much to James' pleasure.

After a long wait and twenty new hufflepuffs, 'Lupin, Remus' was called up.

Remus shakily stood and walked to the stool. He put on the hat and -much to his surprise- it talked.

_Interesting, interesting. A werewolf, hm? But you're smart, and certainly have the best of intentions. Your judgement will come in handy, being friends with Sirius Black...hm. You are smart, but more than that. Ravenclaw sums it up for many, but it's just the beginning for you._

_Thanks, _Remus thought uneasily, hoping he would move on.

_Right. Straight to the point, hm? Well, we can rule out Slytherin. You aren't that deceiving. Can't lie. Well, besides your furry little problem, that is. Aren't cunning._

_Are all hats this rude?_

_Go talk to a bonnet if you want to be babied. So, Hufflepuff? You're loyal enough, aren't you? Who's a good doggy?_

_This doggy bites. Sort me, would you? _Remus said, losing his head for a moment before realizing what he said. He felt bad for a minute...then remembered- it was a hat.

_Still, Hufflepuff isn't right for you. Hmph. Well, there's only one place left. _

"GRYFFINDOR!"

Remus grinned and set down the hat, joining Sirius.

Soon enough, Peter was called up. He put on the hat and jumped a mile when it talked.

_Jumpy thing, aren't you? Never heard a hat talk before?_

_Can't say I have._

_Ah. Should get on with it. This one's not easy. There's barely anything in there to sort. Yes, definetely not Ravenclaw. _

_Oy!_

_What? You're bland. But loyal...ish. More follower, that's not equivilant to loyal. Hufflepuff? No...I don't think so. You're friends are in Gryffindor. Hm...are you brave? No, not really, but you are big-headed enough to make it there. Slytherin...eh. No, I think you have good intentions, but you tend to cower when your good intentions are needed. Well, I really don't know. No one house is enough for you, I suppose there's bits and pieces of each one. Opinion?_

_Gryffindor?_

_Very well._

"GRYFFINDOR!"

The young rat-faced boy grinned and sat next to Remus.

The three boys exchanged grins of anticipation as 'Potter, James' was called.

A confident James Potter bounded to the stage and pulled on the hat.

_Gryffindor, right?_

_Hmph. Usually I talk first._

_I know. My mum told me._

_Your mother, hm? Funny girl. So, Slytherin, you said?_

_Yea- wait, no!_

_But you'd do so well. _

_You're off your rocker._

_No, unfortunately I'm off my stool and onto your untidy head._

_Hey!_

_Slytherin it is._

_What- no!_

"GRYFFINDOR!"

The young boy ran to his seat, as if he hadn't doubted his placement for a second, which he most definetely had.

"Gryffindor's gonna have a heck of a year," Sirius said grinning, as Severus Snape was made a Slytherin. James heard a sigh of sadness, and turned to see a disappointed Lily.

"I heard Slytherin and Gryffindor have lots of classes together," he said earnestly. Then, he got a cocky grin. "But if not...you've still got me- erm, us."

Lily, who had smiled hopefully just a moment before, had then put her head in her hands with a groan.

"Smooth, James," Sirius said, laughing.

"What'd I do?"

"Nothing, nothing," Sirius said lightly. "In fact, I think I know how you can get Lily to like you."

"You do?" James said, excited for the opportunity.

"Sure," Sirius said. "A really, _really _strong love potion. Well...it may still be uncertain."

"Shut it."

"Don't count on it," he said as Tonks was made a Hufflepuff. Sirius grinned as she threw Bellatrix a smug smile and turned her hair to bright yellow with black streaks, to support her house. She tripped on thin air on the way to the Hufflepuff table, landing on her face and blushing wildly. "Always had been clumsy. Good job, Nymphie," he said as she got up and went to her table.

"Don't call her Nymphie, Black," James joked, imitating her voice. "It's Tonks."

"Really. The one thing she can't change about herself is the thing she hates," Remus said with a roll of his eyes.

"That's Nymphie for you," Sirius said. Peter was laughing along, but staying otherwise quiet.

Finally, 'Zule, Loraine' was made a Slytherin and the ceremony ended. Dumbledore stood and smiled warmly at the young wizards before him.

"Hello, students. I look forward to knowing you all. Now that our ceremony has finished, I'd like to say a few words before we dine, but a terrible rumbling in my stomach tells me I shall save my jaw for chewing, not talking. Thank you."

"Completely bonkers," James said with a laugh. "Bloody brilliant, but mad."

"I heard he does that every year," piped up Peter. "You know...the funny speech before the real one."

"He does," Sirius confirmed but trailed off at the sight of all the food spread across the table.

After the four boys displayed their best bottomless pit imitations, the food was cleared and a jovial Dumbledore again took the floor.

"Well, that was quite the meal! Now, we do need to point out some rules, of course," he said, chuckling as the students groaned. "For your safety. Argus Filch has kindly posted the rules of Hogwarts in detail, should you forget, I'm sure you'll be eager to refresh yourselves. They are located right outside his office. The Forbidden Forest is absolutely forbidden. No one is to go in there."

"Really?" Sirius asked under his breath, feigning shock, as children exchanged comments around them.

"Yes, really. Usually the forest is a place to serve detention, but it sounds like it's completely off limits," James informed him. "Wonder why."

Remus paled, knowing exactly why. Usually his transformation happened at the Shrieking Shack...but the Forbidden Forest was a second option, should something happen. He guessed they just wanted to be safe, yet there seemed to be more to it than that. He decided to listen to the fantastic theories of his friends.

"-rouge centaurs, maybe..." Sirius said excitedly.

"Probably giant spiders or something," Peter said nervously.

"Giant spiders in the Forbidden Forest? That's real far-fetched, Pete," James replied firmly. "Probably more like a horse with the one horn on top their head...you know.."

"A unicorn?" Sirius supplied.

"That's it, Sirius! A unicorn! A razor sharp horn, too, probably," he exclaimed. "What'd you think it is, Remmy?"

Remus shrugged. "Dunno. Probably just playing it safe."

But Dumbledore then called them to order.

"As I was saying, it's much too dangerous this year and school detentions will now be served assisting Hagrid with whatever he needs done. Not that I want to here of any detentions of course," he said, eyes twinkling, glancing at Sirius, who already managed to land himself in one and was now smiling sheepishly. James elbowed him in the ribs.

"Meet in detention?" he asked.

"Definetely," Sirius said, grinning. "That is, if you can get yourself one."

"Now, off to bed! Don't let the cats scratch!"

McGonagall smiled lightly at Dumbledore, getting up to announce the directions. "Please follow your prefects back to your common room."

A boy who looked quite cross and a girl who looked quite sweet got up and directed the Gryffindors back to their room.

After getting through a troublesome staircase and a forgotten password, they entered the common room, marveling at it. Between the comfort of the warm red and gold colors and the furniture, Sirius thought, that this, this could be somewhere where he might just belong.

"And tonight- we find and raid the kitchens!" James declared.

_Yes, he'd definetely belong here_, he thought with a grin on his face as they tried to guess where the kitchens might be and if the house-elves will bake them something special.


	3. Slugs, Howlers, and Snarkiness, Oh my!

**Slugs, Howlers, And Snarkiness, Oh My!**

A tired Lily Evans walked down to the Great Hall with Marlene, Emmeline, Dorcas, Mary, and Alice her new roommates and best friends.

"Hey, Lils," said James walking up beside her, a hopeful bounce in his step.

"Don't call me that, Potter," she answered, frustrated.

"But Lils..."

"Potter," she warned. "Get out of here."

"Lils, go out with me."

"No."

James' smile didn't falter. "Someday you'll fall for me, I swear."

"Most definitely not."

"And we'll have a kid."

"Is that so?"

"And he'll be named after me."

"Really? Because I don't think 'big headed prat' has the ring I'm looking for."

"Harsh, Lilyflower. I'm wounded."

"Well, as fun as this is, why don't you find some other way to entertain yourself?"

"Why don't you go out with me?"

"I'm not an idiot."

"You dig me."

"Most definitely not."

James shrugged confidently and broke off to join his friends.

"She digs me," he swore to the others.

"Most definitely not," Sirius said, imitating her.

They made their way to the Gryffindor table and began to eat. A red letter dropped in front of Sirius. He went pale, though he kept his cocky grin, as his stomach twisted at the thought of opening it.

"Gonna let it explode?" Remus asked quietly.

He shook his head weakly and opened it.

Soon a very loud, very angry voice filled the hall.

_"Disgrace! Blood traitor! I should of known from the start, you filfth! Blood traitors are as bad as Mudbloods themselves! I've heard that you've been associating with other blood traitors! Tonks and Potters? You know fully well I don't want you associating with that slime! Disgrace of their blood! You are to go to Dumbledore and demand to be put in Slytherin, where this family belongs, you abomination! You'll find yourself dead with that attitude and good riddance! Abomination of my flesh!"_

"Dead before a Death Eater," Sirius said bitterly. "Darling, that woman is."

"Apparently you do wear blood traitor nicely, though," said James, trying to hide the pity in his voice.

"Is your mum usually like this?" Peter asked.

"Yeah," Sirius said roughly. "Yeah, she is. Can we just get to- what do we have first?"

"Potions."

"Yeah, right. Let's go," he said, leaving behind the stares after him.

James got up quickly. "I'll meet you guys in class."

The two boys nodded as James ran off.

"Sirius doesn't come off as someone who cares what people think of him," Peter said, confused.

"It's not that," Remus sighed, feeling bad for Sirius. "It sounds like he's grown up in a family that doesn't care about him, hate him even. He wants to get away, but he feels like he can't. Besides, having your own mum call you an abomination? Tell you they want you dead?"

Peter nodded. "It's enough to make anyone, even someone who doesn't care so much, feel bloody awful."

Tonks was fidgeting in her seat, since hearing the Howler. Her hair had gone a bright red. She was used to being called a blood traitor, she didn't care, but it wasn't fair. She imagined her own parents saying that...

"What's wrong, Nymphadora?" the girl who shared her room asked. Insisted on calling her Nymphadora.

"People keep on bloody calling me Nymphadora," she answered, which shut her up. She looked back to a pale Sirius storming out of the room, her hair turned a dark blue.

Bellatrix however, was smirking, obviously pleased with herself.

Narcissa leaned forward. "You told?"

"Of course I did, Cissy! Can't have old Walburgie dear oblivous that Sirius is _seriously _following in our dear sister's footsteps, now can we?" she said, with a slight mad edge to her tone.

Narcissa grinned. "'Course not."

James found Sirius standing outside the hall.

They sat on a staircase and Sirius was muttering profanities under his breath.

"You swear alot," James commented.

Sirius let out a mirthless laugh. "Yeah, I do," he admitted. "Sorry, mate. About what my mum said."

James shrugged. "Hey, I don't really care if I'm disgracing my blood."

Sirius growled. "But you bloody well know that you're not disgracing anything."

"Yeah, well it was worse for you. You know I don't care 'bout that stuff."

"I don't either," Sirius said quickly, trying to reassure himself.

"I know you don't," James reassured him. "And I get why you're upset about this. That would make anyone upset..."

"Yeah, I 'spose..." he said, looking up. "Thanks, mate."

"Sure," James replied. "Let's go or Slughorn will throw a fit."

"Right," Sirius replied, but as he went to stand, the staircase shifted. He grasped the railing, as did James. They walked up a few steps when the staircase moved again, knocking them both off their feet.

"Bloody hell! This staircase has it out for us," James said, clearly annoyed.

Sirius nodded, navigating his way up the steps. They got to the top.

"What's our first class again?"

"Potions."

"Fantastic."

"What?"

"Potions," Sirius said. "Is in the dungeons." He looked pointedly at the staircase.

The two arrived into Potions after battling a moving staircase, and a small run-in with Peeves. Professor Slughorn tutted jovially about how late they were.

They weren't too late apparently, because they still were choosing partners. Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs were around the room, choosing partners.

Finally, Slughorn decided to stop the chaos. "Everyone, take a seat! Next to someone in your house, please."

Everyone obliged. Sirius and Remus were next to eachother, as were Peter and Frank Longbottom, a boy in another dorm ("Hello, I'm Frank, Frank Longbottom."), and Alice and Emmeline in the table in front of Dorcas and Marlene ("Oooh, Lily's sitting next to Ja-mes."). An indeed, a thoroughly annoyed Lily Evans sat next to a very pleased James Potter. Tonks was sitting next to a boy she found slightly bearable, Amos Diggory. That is, if it weren't for his boasting and he won't stop calling her 'T'. It's Tonks, people, Tonks. Not that hard. He said either that or Nymphadora.

Slughorn smiled. "Look to the other person at your table, say hello, for you have just met your new Potions partner for this year at Hogwarts."

Most were happy with their assigned partners, besides a fairly indifferent Tonks and a very horrified Lily. (Sirius personally thought that James was going to jump on top of his desk and scream with happiness, but that's just him.)

However, James managed to keep himself in the chair, settling for beaming. Lily looked at him for a second then turned to Professor Slughorn and began protesting.

"No, no, no Ms. Evans," Slughorn cut in brightly. "I'm sure Mr. Potter will be up to par."

"But-"

"No, no, no Ms. Evans," James mimmicked. "Don't worry, Lils, this subject looks easy."

Lily frowned unbelievingly. She looked back to her Potions book and sighed. "Sev better lend me those notes," she muttered to herself.

Now James frowned. "Or you could just trust me to do well, get yourself a high mark, and me a date to Hogsmeade."

"Potter, we aren't allowed in Hogsmeade until third year."

"I know. And?"

"And I'm not breaking the rules."

"Is that a maybe in third year?"

"No, Potter."

A few desks away, Remus looked at Sirius doubtfully.

"You know I hate Potions, right?"

Sirius shrugged. "'S'alright, we can fail together."

Remus sighed. "Should be fun."

Across the room, Peter and Frank were sitting.

"Any good at potions, Pettigrew?"

"No clue," Peter answered.

"That bites," Frank said, frowning. "I've tried a few potions, and they seem to work well enough."

Peter shrugged, "Maybe then we'll pull a decent grade."

The class went by fairly quickly, and they all seemed to thoroughly enjoy learning about the uses of the essence of murtlap, though when putting it in a healing potion, and testing it, Madam Pomfrey was visited by several students, including Peter and Frank, and to Remus' immense surprise, not Remus and Sirius. Sirius said he expecting nothing less from the two greatest potioneers.

James slapped him for that.

"Bloody hell!" Sirius exclaimed, rubbing his arm. "Never said I was modest."

"See, Sirius' motto is 'if you've got it, flaunt it'," Remus explained sarcastically as they walked out of the dungeons.

James looked at Sirius, feigning worry. Then he turned to Remus and in a loud whisper he said, "Who's planning on breaking it to him that he has not, in fact, got 'it', unless

'it' happens to be a cocky attitude?"

"Beats me," Peter said, joining them with newly wrapped hands. Sirius pouted for a minute. Then he perked up a bit.

"We get to go searching for the kitchens tonight," he exclaimed. The others all "shhh"ed him, stealing looks at the passerbys.

The next class was Defense Against The Dark Arts (a double class with Slytherins), with Professor Tuet ("I believe it's pronounced _twet_, Sirius, not _toot_."). The room was room with an air of coolness. There were dark magical creatures, but nothing too dangerous. In the corner, there was a bright blue Cornish pixie. Sirius described the short man with a shorter temper to be interchangable with the highly annoying pixies. Remus pointed out that the man was not blue. Sirius pulled out his wand jokingly, to which Remus replied, "Don't you dare."

"I am Professor Tuet. Today," Tuet said, observing the students cooly. "We will be learning about werewolves." His cold eyes fell on Remus.

He paled. This was a teacher who didn't approve of him attending Hogwarts, that's for sure.

"Werewolves are terrible mutts, very dangerous indeed. Take caution, for it could be any seemingly innocent person and that seemingly innocent person turns into a rabid beast each and every full moon. They are dangerous to humans, but most times _appear _to be one. They know nothing but meat."

"That's not true," Remus cried out. He then realized what he said. "Er, I've read about werewolves, er, sir. They are humans. They just live with a condition. What they do on the full moon, how they feel, what they think, who they are, that's not their fault and they're just as innocent as anyone else!"

The man peered at Remus, sizing him up, in a cool calculating way.

Usually Remus was the rational one. But he'd been called a monster in his life before. And he wouldn't fake for anyone, not even his-

"I think Remus is right. Werewolf prejudice is unfair," James said boldly.

"And they turn into a bloody dog once a month! How cool is that?" Sirius put in.

"I bet if they're careful-" Peter began, less boldly than James, but still firm.

"Then they're nothing more than a puppy," Sirius interrupted.

-friends that he couldn't possibly adore more right now.

Tuet looked extremely miffed at the interruption. "Detention to the four of you for speaking out. A weeks worth. 30 points from Huff-"

"Gryffindor," James supplied lamely.

"Gryffindor indeed. 30 points from them."

"Who?" Sirius asked, a mischievious light in his eyes.

"The Gryffindors!"

"Ah, alright, alright, calm yourself. You're going red, or blue perhaps," Sirius said thoughtfully as the other boys erupted in a fit of laughter. "So what are Gryffindors losing points for?"

Tuet let out a sigh. "Talking out of turn on subjects they don't know about."

"So if we did know about them, persay," James started to muse, knowing plenty about werewolves thanks to his dad's interest in them.

"You'd still be in trouble," Tuet finished.

"Now, how does that work?" Sirius inquired.

A frustrated Tuet gave them another weeks detention and sent them to McGonagall. She looked at them disapprovingly.

"What did you do?"

"Minnie, why the tone of accusation, hm?"

"I'm sorry, Black. Now_ what did you do_?"

"Got kicked out of class."

"I got that far."

"Talked back to a teacher."

"Which?"

"Toot."

"Professor Tuet?"

"Yeah. Him."

"About werewolves," James threw in.

"Werewolves?"

"Yeah. He was teaching about them."

"Er, more ranting," James corrected.

"So we told him off."

"Boys..."

"I started it, Professor."

"Remus?"

The boy in question looked down guiltily. She sounded truly disappointed in him.

"I spoke without thinking, Professor. He said werewolves were dangerous mutts, and continued on like that."

McGonagall's eyes flashed dangerously. "Boys, you may go. Not you, Mr. Lupin, I need to speak with you."

The other boys shrugged and left. "Well, Remus, you have very good friends. How did they find out?"

"They didn't," Remus said, looking up in surprise. "They hadn't the slightest idea. They were just sticking up for me."

"They didn't?"

"No, and I don't plan on them figuring it out."

"Remus, they're bright boys..."

Remus looked up and smiled wryly. "I have a sick aunt that I've decided to visit once a month."

"That's lying."

"Not exactly," Remus protested weakly. "I have...an aunt."

McGonagall scoffed. "And you believe they'll fall for that?"

Remus snorted. "More wishful thinking."

McGonagall inwardly hoped they would and sighed. "Ginger newt?"


End file.
